‘The Golden Girls,’ like you’ve never seen them before

By John Lyle Belden

The Loud and Fast Funny gang is at it again, presenting mature ladies with “mature” content in “The Golden Girls: The Lost Episodes.”

This mostly-drag parody of the old hit TV show was originally written by David Cerda and developed by Hell in a Handbag Productions of Chicago. LAFF are local actors, presenting this hour-long treat at the cabaret second stage of The District Theatre, managed by IndyFringe.

The mood is set as the audience enters to the sounds of classic television show themes from the 1970s and ‘80s, interspersed with the audio of commercials from the era (remember L’eggs panty hose?), as well as network jingles from NBC, the original TV home of the Girls.

Then, it’s the strains of “Thank You For Being a Friend,” and we meet our small-screen friends: Rose (Jim Banta), Blanche (Pat Mullen), Dorothy (Dave Ruark) and Sophia (Olivia Schaperjohn). They launch into two half-hour episodes, with words and innuendo that the network censors would certainly not allow, joined by Christian Condra as a handsome doctor in the first part, and Jazzercise Jeff in the second. There is no nudity, just a couple of edgy costume choices — but still, don’t take the kids.

While a touch raunchy — like some grandmas get when young’uns aren’t around — the plots are also funny and entertaining, much like if the Girls were a show on HBO. In the first, silly Rose deals with an episode of restless-leg syndrome as she prepares for a big dance contest. In the second, the hot aerobics instructor has a thing for Blanche — and Sophia? — while Dorothy makes an attempt to show her “nice” side.

Between the episodes, a swingin’ Condra comes out to host a game show in which two audience members get a shot at a genuine Golden Girls-themed prize.

A fun Fringe-length show at a Fringe ticket price, performances are Fridays and Saturdays, two shows each night, through April 27. Get info and tickets at indyfringe.org

LAFF Shows also staged the recent production of “Hold On To Your Butts,” and will present another Recent Cutbacks-produced show, “Fly, You Fools” — a parody shot-by-shot re-creation of “Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring” (in one hour) — May 3-25. Get to know the troupe at facebook.com/LAFFshows.

A grand tribute to Samuel L. Jackson, and some dinosaurs

By John Lyle Belden

The Fringe Festival favorite, “Hold On To Your Butts,” is back on stage in Indianapolis. Indiana native Nick Abeel and Recent Cutbacks had toured the show around the country, including at a past IndyFringe, but now trust it to local actors Jim Banta, Pat Mullen and Olivia Schaperjohn.

The show is a one-hour shot-for-shot reenactment of the film “Jurassic Park” (never mentioning the title for legal reasons) with Banta and Mullen portraying nearly all the roles and Schaperjohn – clever girl – providing the sound effects. With so many funny and memorable lines scattered throughout the film, just reciting them with appropriate overacting and minimal, cheap, homemade props is sufficient to make this whole experience entertaining.

In a tribute to his awesomeness, and for providing the title line for this parody, Samuel L. Jackson is the only actor clearly identified and portrayed with a handsome cutout mask. The show also has lots of fun with Jeff Goldblum, whose shirt is more open each time he’s portrayed.

The trio is totally up to the task, committing to this wacky enterprise. The intimate confines of the District Theatre secondary cabaret stage add to the atmosphere, especially when Banta and Mullen’s antics take them through the audience.

For those who are fans at all of the movie, this is a great way to both laugh at and remember the thrill of watching it in the theater, or a darkened living room, looking over your shoulder for ‘raptors. And remember that Sam Jackson was in it, too.

Performances are 8 and 10 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays through March 30 at the District Theatre, 627 Massachusetts Ave. in downtown Indy. Get info and tickets at www.indyfringe.org.

P.S. Recent Cutbacks also made a shot-for-shot parody of “Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring” called “Fly, You Fools!” which will be at the District Theatre in May, with these same actors, a/k/a Loud And Fast Funny Shows (LAFF).

ATI: Ruth sure is missing out on a great show

By Wendy Carson

Ambition. It’s all that drives some people. Even though they have talent and skills, they strive to be recognized and adored for it. How far will a person go to get what they want?

This question is the main premise of the show, “Ruthless: The Musical,” presented by Actors Theatre of Indiana. It is a musical parody of classic noir “The Bad Seed” and “All About Eve,” with a whole lot of campy fun thrown in.

Judy Fitzgerald nimbly portrays Judy Denmark, a doting mother who, while abundantly proud of her daughter Tina, possesses a fierce drive of her own. John Vessels delivers with all of his vamping glory as Sylvia St. Croix, who will do anything to be part of show biz – again.

Suzanne Stark’s portrayal of viciously bitter reviewer Lita Encore channels Madeline Kahn and Megan Mullally in evoking the requisite Evil Wielder of the Poisonous Pen (we’ll try not to take it personally).

Laura Sportiello brilliantly pulls off the gawkiness and questionable talent of Tina’s rival, Louise Lehrman, while also proving she is not one to be underestimated. Meanwhile, Cynthia Collins is fun as the put-upon Miss Thorn, a third-grade teacher whose own showbiz aspirations were crushed by stark reality. Her self-written musical about Pippi Longstocking and questionable casting choices provide the fodder to set this chaos in motion.

Finally, we turn to Nya Skye Beck’s performance as Tina Denmark, the talented and seemingly perfect child whom we all wish we had. Only a fourth-grader, Beck’s level of talent at acting, singing and dance is amazing. During the show, my partner John said, “She is the real deal,” and I heartily agree. I hope to see her in many more productions in the coming years, before the call of Broadway whisks her away.

The first act more reflects “Seed,” with Act Two taking aspects of “Eve” with Sportiello in an alternate role. Satire abounds – there’s a big musical number called “I Hate Musicals” – secrets are exposed, and it all comes down to an ending to die for. On the whole, this show is hilarious and highly entertaining.

“Ruthless” runs through Feb. 17 at the Studio Theater in the Center for the Performing Arts in downtown Carmel. ATI notes the content is relative to a PG-13 rating. For info and tickets, visit atistage.org or thecenterpresents.org.

Permit yourself to enjoy ‘Forbidden Broadway’

By John Lyle Belden

That beloved but misnamed (not actually on a “Square”) spot on Mass Ave. has returned to life with a wonderful send-up of the world of Broadway musicals.

Actors Theatre of Indiana presents “Forbidden Broadway’s Greatest Hits” all this month at the District Theatre (former home of Theatre on the Square), its first production under new name and management. ATI regulars Cynthia Collins, Don Farrell, Judy Fitzgerald and Logan Moore, with Brent Marty at the piano, give us the parodies made famous in the off-Broadway show that has been savaging its on-stage neighbors since 1982 – no one is safe, from Bob Fosse to “Les Mis” to Spongebob.

It’s impressive what gets made fun of – lay-offs of the cast of “Beauty and the Beast,” the rotating stage of “Les Miserables,” those massive headpieces in “Lion King.” Wendy loves that one of her pet peeves, actors reliant on visible microphones, gets skewered by a big-singing stage legend.

Speaking of legendary actors, they get parodied as well, including some girl named Carol and this guy named Mandy.

The result is so very funny. The more you know about the source material, the more hilarious it all is, but this show had everyone laughing.

And these five people playing it all are practically legend-level themselves – they should beware, lest someone down the street at IndyFringe makes fun of them!

Performances through July 29 at the District, 627 Massachusetts Ave., downtown Indianapolis. (ATI then returns to its home in Carmel to start its 2018-19 season, which concludes with more Forbidden Broadway next summer.) For info and tickets, see atistage.org.

The Farce is strong with this one

NOTE: As the Word/Eagle is in flux with the renaming and corresponding change in official website, John is putting his reviews here — for now.

By John Lyle Belden

Today’s political climate has much that is ripe for ridicule, especially Indiana’s present chief executive, who could become America’s Number Two. And if the thought of Gov. Pence as “number two” has you giggling, have I got a theatrical experience for you.

Khaos Company Theatre presents its second play in the “Pence Wars” series, “Mike Pence Strikes Back,” a Star Wars-themed parody in which Indiana Emperor Pence finds himself losing the election for governor of the Hoosier Planet – every ultraconservative ploy to gain favor with the masses seems to backfire. But an unexpected shot at being Vice President of the Galaxy changes everything.

You don’t have to have seen the first play, August’s “Attack of the Homos,” to get into the flow of this one. The story is presented as a play by director Kaylee Spivey Good, with additional scenes by Robert Broemel and Ed Ramthun, and interludes of poetry by Cher Guevara (a/k/a Eagle contributor Walter Beck).

David Malloy is entertaining as Pence, giving the state’s Dark Lord a dastardly cartoon villain voice and posture. Guevara is impressive as Donald Trump – especially as the actor looks nothing like him – but with big hair, big suit and big, boorish attitude, he pulls it off. The supporting cast of Michael Maloney, Lauren McDaniel, Bridget Isakson (who plays Tolkein’s elf Arwen, because, why not?), Heather Bartram, Chloe Farhar, and even Good for a scene, all make multiple contributions to this farce.

The trick to enjoying the show is to keep your expectations as low as your opinion of Trump and Pence, and just go with whatever is happening. Pence Wars has the style and humor of SNL or MadTV with the special effects of a kid’s birthday party. Yet while situations get a tad immature, the content is not for children.

While the scenes are played for laughs, the recited verse is serious and thought-provoking, reminding us that this is the future of our state and country we’re joking about here.

There are just two more dates for this chapter, 7 p.m. Friday and Saturday – note that Friday is pay-what-you-can admission – and the trilogy’s conclusion, “Election 2016, A New Hope,” is scheduled for Oct. 7,8, 14 and 15. For information and tickets, see www.kctindy.com.

John L. Belden is Associate Editor at The Eagle (formerly The Word), the central-Indiana based Midwest LGBTQ news source.